it's cecily's 7th birthday and since i never post about cecily (that was sarcasm...) i want to do seven traits of cecily that i adore.
#1: SNUGGLER. she still fits perfectly in my arms and i'm positive she always will. no matter how much she grows i think that will always be a spot made for her and for now she loves occupying it.
 #2 she's a THINKER. the way she can connect ideas, i'm pretty sure she'll be smarter than me by next year, if she isn't smarter already.
#3 she's a DREAMER. she longs to travel to faraway places, hopes that there is some way for her to be a princess/muskateer/ballerina/veterinarian/singer/actress in her future, and spends most of her day singing her own soundtrack.
 #4 BRAVE. my girl is brave, whether it's pulling her own teeth or moving to a new place. she puts herself out there.
#5 GENEROUS. generous with her love, her forgiveness, with her hugs, with her toys (i mean most of the time, she's not a saint), with her heart, with her notes (i could wallpaper a room with all the little notes she gives me) and last but not least with her dramatics ☺
#6: OPTIMISTIC. she will always look for the bright side, especially if the bright side means someone she loves will be happy.
#7: BEAUTIFUL. not just her sprinkle of freckles, or her wide green eyes, or sweet little lips, but also her laugh, quick smile, her ever-reading, ever-learning brain, her giant heart, her gentle hands that still love to be held everywhere we go, her tears that brim when she thinks of those she loves, her desire to kiss and cuddle every baby we pass, the way she tip-toes into a room when she thinks you are sleeping and covers you with a blanket. my girl is beautiful. and i am blessed.

Well, HEY!

Oh my gosh! I have a blog!
I was updating my current city on facebook to Peoria (I know it's only been 2 1/2 months, I'm kind of an overachiever...) and found the link to my blog! it was very exciting.
So, first things first. Yes the universe does change with sticker charts. The only problem is that they have to be filled out by sister-who-is-awesome, so we are without motivation right now and the universe settled back down into it's usual place, around the hips.
Also, in case you missed the information above, I did move to Arizona. Yes it is hot. Painfully hot. I'd like to say I'm getting used to it, but I'm not. People keep telling me that I'll love the winter. I'm not going to get that optimistic yet.
And of course all the usual is still in place: still teaching middle school, still have the most awesome kid ever, still single, and still eating cereal for as many meals as possible. I have ambitions of course, mostly involving not being single and trying to cook more, but once I reach them, then what can I be sarcastic and bitter about? So for now I'm staying par for the course.
Also, it's the Bug's birthday so I'm going to copy and paste all the sweet things I said about her on facebook and put them on here. Not because I couldn't say more, but because I did a damn good job writing the first batch and lightning doesn't strike twice!

The answer to ALL of life's problems

HOW TO DRAMATICALLY IMPROVE YOUR LIFE AND EXPONENTIALLY INCREASE YOUR HAPPINESS IN 3 EASY STEPS:

Step 1: Make a sticker chart.

Step 2:...... the numbers are still being crunched on this one but it definitely has to do with the sticker chart.

Step 3: (see above)

a little nugget

i decided, somewhat randomly, that today i would work on filing old papers. this is a task that i have started several times, but have never really completed. today was no different. however, i did find an piece of writing i did a few years ago. it is about cecily and i thought it was still so descriptive of how i see her (though older, obviously) that i wanted to share. so here is Rosy Yellow:

i think sometimes she is acutely aware of the role she plays in this world. her blue eyes twinkle in a moment of laughing importance. her marshmallow arms wave as she gathers up momentum only to pull them in tight to her chest with excitement. i think sometimes i could throw her high in the air and she would float there like a cloud blending in with the heavens. everyone would see her and comment on the beautiful colors in the sunset, or exclaim "what a perfect day! the sun seems to be shining extra bright." she would cast the light of lovers sight. but just as soon as i would place her in the heavens i would pull her back down by the hem of her pants so she could be with me again. i wish everyone had her love, but am selfish enough to be the one who wants to keep it; swimming like a fish in the joy it brings. her wiggling wobbly giggles wake up the sleepy youth in me as she waits to give me more. you can ask anyone who has been in a room with her, and lucky for this town there have been many, and all would smile when they hard her name. a piece of joy she is, the smell of fresh chocolate chip cookies wrapped in a cloak of rosy yellow daisies. Cecily.

poem thingys

what's nice about being an english teacher is that when you make students do a certain style of writing, you sometimes feel inclined to do that writing as well. so my kids are doing poetry right now and that has spurred some recent ramblings from me, which for some reason i feel the need to share with you. sometimes i think that writing about my sister calling me a writer is a blessing and a curse for both of us, it holds me accountable to continue writing, but then it makes me feel obligated to post my writing. and well the rest is all your misfortune. so here we go:

amiable is what we aim for
it's curiosity
of independent co dependence
that keeps the crazy
from controlling
her composure.
cute and crass she's
charming in her
confidence and compliments
-to the casual
observer.

humming to herself
-in public no less-
her happiness is
hearsay
even to her ears.
but she continues
swinging her shopping bags
as heads turn.
unaware, culpable for
and in control
of the hints she's sending
simply said:
amiable is what we aim for.



NEXT!

blessing from Mother Nature

Your first intake of sweet,

life-giving air,

will be from the gust of my

wind blown blessing to you:

May the storms of your life

be summer rains

that rejuvenate and affirm

with every downpour.

May all your nights

be promises

And your sunrises crowded in

mists

bringing clarity to your

surroundings

in simple snapshots of ordinary beauty.

May your tree

of truth and understanding

grow, unhindered

by circumstance,

to mighty depths and

height

finding light and water

in the dry shadows.

May the breezes and waves

that scatter

bring chills of delight and

anticipation

as they direct you

places of

creative insight.

May your long journey

be guided with

sweet earth and

soft grass,

trimmed with

whispering meadows

for contemplation

and comfort.

stay one with me,

wholly as you,

and your last breath will be as

sweet

as the first.

it will be a miracle!

In case it has somehow slipped your notice, i am in the market for a man. i like men, would like to have one around for me and for my daughter, i kinda want to make some babies, and i want to keep this man i like for a long time, like forever really. and knowing that i am not the ideal candidate for a wifey i decided to make my list of requirements very simple. for quite some time now i've been under the impression that if i could simply find a man that was easy to get along with, worked, and wanted to be in a committed relationship, i could make it work.
i was wrong.
in fact, i think there is a chance i could have been really wrong, but let's not take it to extremes.
yet in spite of that i don't feel like i'm asking for a lot. seriously. if we go out to coffee and you throw away my cup for me, i will notice and i will be impressed. minimal effort on the man's part, really. in a relationship, a few words of validation or even reassurance every couple of days and i'm set. i don't need a ton of physical contact as long as we're... well.. doing it on a regular basis. he unloads the dishwasher i'll be really happy. if he makes dinner or cleans an entire room and i will do back flips, pinch myself to make sure i'm not dreaming, and bend over backwards for him so i don't ruin my good luck. seriously, minimal effort, right?!
for some reason it's not that easy. at first i didn't get it, but then i got insulted by my sister and realized what i was missing.she said (and just to be clear, another sister said this to her as well so she really was being honest and heartfelt):
someday you're going to like a guy and he will like you back and it will be a miracle.
there's a slap in the face, right?
but it's true. no matter how many guys that i meet that are willing to put in the minimal effort, i still have to like them back. and they have to like me (which at times is really actually quite difficult in spite of what you are inclined to think).
and i realized that as little as i expect from a guy, at the end of the day i want to feel lucky that i'm his. and just as much i want him to feel lucky he has me. i want us both to feel like we've won the jackpot, that we both married up in the world. now the word miracle doesn't seem so strange does it?
but i see this kind of relationship all the time, my parents often talk about how lucky they are. my mom about my dad, whether he's in the room or not, and my dad who is a man of few words (unless he's on a pun kick) shows it to my mom all the time.
so yes, i have a short list of demands: be a man, have a job, want a wife, don't be a jerk. and when i really am pressed for answers i say laughs/smiles a lot, encourages me and my interests, educated, likes kids and family. but now i have no qualms about saying i want to feel lucky every day (okay, most days) that he is mine. and i want to be amazed and grateful that he feels the same way about me. we'll both be better people for it. so when it happens (i'm biting my tongue about saying if it happens because some days are just 'if' days) it really will be a miracle because i'm now under the impression that is how love is supposed to feel.

metrocity

Yay for puns and play on words. That was one of my favorite parts of Megamind, the movie i was forced to watch with my daughter this weekend that secretly i enjoyed. It made me wish that there was some clever play on words for Idaho besides the obvious relation to a gardening tool.

Because seriously lately Idaho has become a nasty boil on the face of America.

It may not have been noticed because of the similar epidemic sweeping the midwest, but in the wonderful red states the budget relating to public services is being seriously raped. Yes I am aware that we all have to do our part. I've come to grips long ago that I will never be wealthy in my profession and I actually prefer it that way. In fact most of the people who enter into my profession are givers not takers; service minded people that are trying to help children. Which is why it infuriates me that in this state of Idaho the educational system is being treated like a big business and is being forced to mold itself into a big business model as a way of reforming the budget.
There is a part of me that is pretty sure that this is a joke. That people obviously realize teachers work hard for the little money that they get and that the public, for the most part, appreciates that hard work. I hear stories on the web and protests on the streets that encourage this perhaps false belief. And honestly without a functioning tv, I'm pretty sure that it could stay this way. I have read a few newspaper editorials that would make me think otherwise, but they are the minority, right? Right?!
Then I remember that we are in a red state, a state that would honor profit over almost anything else. And I only say 'almost anything else' because I will forever be an optimist that peoples' common sense will win out at some point. And that many people listen to the propoganda, for lack of another word, of news teams and individuals who claim their religious beliefs are what everyone in this country should aspire to, but who couldn't possibly believe that when they look at their paycheck.
I can only say that greed is the backbone of this campaign against teachers, fireman, streetsweepers and other public servants. Servants. Would they consider lowering the pay of our fearless soldiers? Of risking not giving them health insurance when they risk their health everday? What about the people who fight for the future on a daily basis inside the country's borders? That's what I do. I try to help this country's future when everyone else seems to be fighting against it. These kids come to school from broken homes, broken dreams, broken ideals of what this country should be. And how do we pay them back? Well in Idaho we want to give them a laptop, sign them up on online courses, take away their teachers (which for some are the only adults that these kids will see on a regular basis, their anchor knowing that someone will always be there for them), and say "good luck kid. Just copy and paste from somewhere online if you get stuck." I will not abandon my kids this way.
And neither will the teachers I work with, or teachers across this country. Just listen to them:

http://www.facebook.com/home.php#!/notes/elizabeth-hatch/its-not-just-wisconsin-or-ohio-or-unions-its-your-childs-future-and-yours-too/10150190671298906

http://www.thedailyshow.com/watch/thu-march-3-2011/crisis-in-the-dairyland---for-richer-and-poorer---teachers-and-wall-street

http://www.idahopress.com/opinion/other_letters/article_00c78c9e-240c-11e0-8115-001cc4c002e0.html

http://www.ktvb.com/news/Students-walk-out-of-class-in-protest-of-education-reform-plan-117064878.html?clmob=y

http://www.cnn.com/2011/OPINION/02/23/berstein.labor.unions/index.html


http://www.cnn.com/2011/OPINION/02/20/ravitch.teachers.blamed/index.html

http://www.idahostatesman.com/2011/03/04/1551153/letters-to-the-editor-education.html

... and many more...

I am pleading because I don't know where else to turn. Perhaps I should have been a Government teacher so I could understand better how this whole operation works. But from what I recall we are governed by the people (who are saying this is wrong in record numbers) and for the people who need the education that is being risked here.

And thank you to Taylor Mali, and the facebook friend who showed me this link for helping me remember I am fighting the good fight.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RxsOVK4syxU