My Dating Conundrum

Frankly i'm glad it's not my job to update this blog frequently because i have been terrible. I have been wanting to, but my desire for the computer has greatly decreased since my cohabitation with my parents began. It may have something to do with the speed of my parents' internet connection but it more likely has to do with the fact that there are several people sharing one computer and i don't have the patience required for waiting around for it.
Enough excuses, though my reason for this post is somewhat related. I decided to break the silence so to speak because of a recent ironic observation in my own life. My dating life stinks, and no that is not the observation because that is too obvious. I mean i've been on one date in the last four or five months, and i had to force myself to go on that one. Not that the guy wasn't great or that i didn't enjoy myself, I just have been really blah about it. So lately i've tried to be more proactive about it, in the least exerting way. I have tried to get back on the lovely dating website to make myself get excited about a man. This is when i had my epiphany.
The men i was looking at fit in three categories: 1. why did this person email me? how is it possible that he could think we would get along? 2. this guy is... okay... i could probably make myself like him... and want to stab a fork in my eye a month later 3. wow. there is no way that guy would date me, but i am going to stare at his picture for an extra ten seconds... minutes..
Enter the epiphany. First let me state that i don't think that i would be that bad of a significant other. I'm giving and loyal, almost to a fault. I'm a hard worker and an easy laugher, pretty trusting and pretty chill. However, the people who would date me, i don't particularly want to date (and yes i mean the redneck, die hard hunters, and the service men from Mountain Home [been there, done that] and people that don't try to mask their illiteracy on the website, and anyone who has a topless picture of themselves flexing in front of a mirror, call me picky). And the people who i am interested in i would totally lose respect for if they dated someone like me. Please refer back to the part where i compliment myself at the beginning of this paragraph. However i am a single mom, and if you're a hot doctor you want a hot young wife (and i've just entered my first year of being 29, where i will remain until i'm not single). Or if you're a world traveler you want someone who can leave at a moments notice. And that's fine, i'd rather have Cecily than that life anyway. Or the fact that i just bought a house and i really don't want to have to move again for a very long time. But a responsible guy would probably have a house of his own that he may not want to give up. I realize that's pretty selfish but hey, it's my first house and i want to live somewhere for more than a year or two. Or lifestyles, i mean really. i can't cook. i'm ADD at it. Just today i burnt Cecily's brownies for her easy bake oven. So i am in this relationship and i get home from teaching at four and he gets home from work later than that and i'm chilling on the couch eating ice cream from the carton saying 'hey babe, what's for dinner?' Ew.
So using my inherent powers of rationalization i've decided that it is probably for the better that i stay away from the dating world, at least the online one. Although, with those powers of rationalization is the reality that i will still peek, just in case. And hope that a hot uncle of a students will show up at school someday, just for a shameless bout of flirtation.

ONLINE DATING WARFARE

I have ventured into the world of online dating, something mentioned in a previous post. And since I have been in that world for a little while I thought I should send an update.
It should be known that I was told that you meet the one you end up within the first few weeks, which both fascinated and frightened me. Especially when I saw the people that match.com lined up for me. What the hell did I put in my profile that matched me with these men?? However it made the sorting process a bit easier for me. if they are wearing camo, or have any pictures where they are holding a dead animal or fish I can skip right over them. I realize I am in Idaho, but it frightens me a little that men would think that a picture of a bleeding carcass with vacant, staring eyes next to an eager, grinning boy who is supposed to be the I-am-the-provider-and- can-kill-things man would somehow appeal to the female population. I don’t know maybe I’m the weird one.
I am also lucky because I have a built in filter: a child. I just scroll on down to see what interests them in a woman and if they don’t want to deal with a mommy I greedily put them in my discard pile. It’s their loss honestly. My kid is the coolest!!
Now there is the age issue. I understand that I have my own filters that say I want people between this number and this number, but I feel like I should not be presented to anyone who isn’t in my age bracket even if I am in theirs. So all you creepy sixty year old men who want to find someone between 20 and 30 just stop! No one wants you! You need to be loaded for that to work and I would think that if you were rich enough to convince a young attractive woman to waste her time on you, I’m sure the golddiggers would be knocking at your door and you wouldn’t need to be on match.com. grr…
So within the first two weeks I did meet someone, a few actually. It really is an ego booster! All of a sudden you have someone every day who is saying they’d like to meet you or are interested, or if nothing else a wink (which are creepy and what the dirty old men often use). And the activity always picks up on the weekend. Suddenly all the single people in the valley are getting worried that they will spend another weekend alone and pathetic, or even worse a third wheel… again. Suddenly one in the morning on Thursday night is the perfect time to meet the one you were meant to be with (which I must say, this whole online dating thing has made me see the complete bullshit behind that idea).
At any rate I started dating someone and am still dating him… for the time being. But the crazy is calling me again! Something about the idea of seeing a page full of information that allows you to make a tentative life plan with someone you’ve never met. Today I might be satisfied with being the girlfriend of an engineer, but what if I want to watch a really intense season of football? I’m going to need to date that meathead with the “other” occupation. And what if there is a time in my life when I want to be really healthy? I could jumpstart it with that vegan kayaking enthusiast.. and that guy with the marketing job that travels all over the world, well he could be downright boring as long as he took me to Europe. And I will want to pop out another kid, that really hot guy with no income may have the perfect set of genes to have a truly adorable baby. *sigh* decisions, decisions…

Why Instant Messaging Scares the Crap Out of Me

So I recently joined an online dating service. If you know me and my relationship situation don't freak out, it was out of curiosity and he's as interested in the craziness as I am. However I was faced with a fear that I have avoided since high school... instant messaging. In high school it was cool because you would do it late at night when you weren't allowed to be on the phone and you would say things that you would never say out loud and you felt rebellious. K, that was my experience. I was a little sheltered and dorky.
Now that I have gained a small level maturity I no longer feel the need to say risque things and giggle about it with my friends. I can text and do that. No really, haven't you ever texted someone sitting in the same room something that you can't say out loud? If you say you haven't you're lying. What I think terrifies me about instant messaging is the word instant. I go on facebook to stalk people without ever having to talk to them and suddenly I get a little message and I have to get back to that person immediately no matter how boring, uninteresting, or creepy their conversation is. Which brings us full circle to the dating site. There are perfect strangers who, let's be frank, are trying to get into your pants, writing to you. And you have to respond instantly! And you have to be open minded because you're on a dating website. That whole "those who live in glass houses" sort of thing. So I can't say "leave me alone you creep!" because I'm actually on the website, I'm asking for creeps. So what do you do? So far I have just ignored them. I'm sure that they have sent out a warning to all other prospectives saying "stay away, she doesn't return IM's." Which is fine because if you can instant message a stranger at 11:30 at night and say "hey girl.." I'm probably not the one for you and neither are half the girls on the dating site.
And don't knock me for being on a dating website at 11:30 at night, boredom hits, okay? and I have to clean out all of those emails about winking. Please please don't get me started on the winking. It's pointless and, again, creepy. So I clean out my dating site emails and bam, an IM. It's enough to make me quit the dating website world, which is probably why I won't. Seriously, it's real entertainment. And maybe a nice little boost for your ego. "Hey gurrl.."