poem thingys

what's nice about being an english teacher is that when you make students do a certain style of writing, you sometimes feel inclined to do that writing as well. so my kids are doing poetry right now and that has spurred some recent ramblings from me, which for some reason i feel the need to share with you. sometimes i think that writing about my sister calling me a writer is a blessing and a curse for both of us, it holds me accountable to continue writing, but then it makes me feel obligated to post my writing. and well the rest is all your misfortune. so here we go:

amiable is what we aim for
it's curiosity
of independent co dependence
that keeps the crazy
from controlling
her composure.
cute and crass she's
charming in her
confidence and compliments
-to the casual
observer.

humming to herself
-in public no less-
her happiness is
hearsay
even to her ears.
but she continues
swinging her shopping bags
as heads turn.
unaware, culpable for
and in control
of the hints she's sending
simply said:
amiable is what we aim for.



NEXT!

blessing from Mother Nature

Your first intake of sweet,

life-giving air,

will be from the gust of my

wind blown blessing to you:

May the storms of your life

be summer rains

that rejuvenate and affirm

with every downpour.

May all your nights

be promises

And your sunrises crowded in

mists

bringing clarity to your

surroundings

in simple snapshots of ordinary beauty.

May your tree

of truth and understanding

grow, unhindered

by circumstance,

to mighty depths and

height

finding light and water

in the dry shadows.

May the breezes and waves

that scatter

bring chills of delight and

anticipation

as they direct you

places of

creative insight.

May your long journey

be guided with

sweet earth and

soft grass,

trimmed with

whispering meadows

for contemplation

and comfort.

stay one with me,

wholly as you,

and your last breath will be as

sweet

as the first.

it will be a miracle!

In case it has somehow slipped your notice, i am in the market for a man. i like men, would like to have one around for me and for my daughter, i kinda want to make some babies, and i want to keep this man i like for a long time, like forever really. and knowing that i am not the ideal candidate for a wifey i decided to make my list of requirements very simple. for quite some time now i've been under the impression that if i could simply find a man that was easy to get along with, worked, and wanted to be in a committed relationship, i could make it work.
i was wrong.
in fact, i think there is a chance i could have been really wrong, but let's not take it to extremes.
yet in spite of that i don't feel like i'm asking for a lot. seriously. if we go out to coffee and you throw away my cup for me, i will notice and i will be impressed. minimal effort on the man's part, really. in a relationship, a few words of validation or even reassurance every couple of days and i'm set. i don't need a ton of physical contact as long as we're... well.. doing it on a regular basis. he unloads the dishwasher i'll be really happy. if he makes dinner or cleans an entire room and i will do back flips, pinch myself to make sure i'm not dreaming, and bend over backwards for him so i don't ruin my good luck. seriously, minimal effort, right?!
for some reason it's not that easy. at first i didn't get it, but then i got insulted by my sister and realized what i was missing.she said (and just to be clear, another sister said this to her as well so she really was being honest and heartfelt):
someday you're going to like a guy and he will like you back and it will be a miracle.
there's a slap in the face, right?
but it's true. no matter how many guys that i meet that are willing to put in the minimal effort, i still have to like them back. and they have to like me (which at times is really actually quite difficult in spite of what you are inclined to think).
and i realized that as little as i expect from a guy, at the end of the day i want to feel lucky that i'm his. and just as much i want him to feel lucky he has me. i want us both to feel like we've won the jackpot, that we both married up in the world. now the word miracle doesn't seem so strange does it?
but i see this kind of relationship all the time, my parents often talk about how lucky they are. my mom about my dad, whether he's in the room or not, and my dad who is a man of few words (unless he's on a pun kick) shows it to my mom all the time.
so yes, i have a short list of demands: be a man, have a job, want a wife, don't be a jerk. and when i really am pressed for answers i say laughs/smiles a lot, encourages me and my interests, educated, likes kids and family. but now i have no qualms about saying i want to feel lucky every day (okay, most days) that he is mine. and i want to be amazed and grateful that he feels the same way about me. we'll both be better people for it. so when it happens (i'm biting my tongue about saying if it happens because some days are just 'if' days) it really will be a miracle because i'm now under the impression that is how love is supposed to feel.