The answer to ALL of life's problems

HOW TO DRAMATICALLY IMPROVE YOUR LIFE AND EXPONENTIALLY INCREASE YOUR HAPPINESS IN 3 EASY STEPS:

Step 1: Make a sticker chart.

Step 2:...... the numbers are still being crunched on this one but it definitely has to do with the sticker chart.

Step 3: (see above)

a little nugget

i decided, somewhat randomly, that today i would work on filing old papers. this is a task that i have started several times, but have never really completed. today was no different. however, i did find an piece of writing i did a few years ago. it is about cecily and i thought it was still so descriptive of how i see her (though older, obviously) that i wanted to share. so here is Rosy Yellow:

i think sometimes she is acutely aware of the role she plays in this world. her blue eyes twinkle in a moment of laughing importance. her marshmallow arms wave as she gathers up momentum only to pull them in tight to her chest with excitement. i think sometimes i could throw her high in the air and she would float there like a cloud blending in with the heavens. everyone would see her and comment on the beautiful colors in the sunset, or exclaim "what a perfect day! the sun seems to be shining extra bright." she would cast the light of lovers sight. but just as soon as i would place her in the heavens i would pull her back down by the hem of her pants so she could be with me again. i wish everyone had her love, but am selfish enough to be the one who wants to keep it; swimming like a fish in the joy it brings. her wiggling wobbly giggles wake up the sleepy youth in me as she waits to give me more. you can ask anyone who has been in a room with her, and lucky for this town there have been many, and all would smile when they hard her name. a piece of joy she is, the smell of fresh chocolate chip cookies wrapped in a cloak of rosy yellow daisies. Cecily.

poem thingys

what's nice about being an english teacher is that when you make students do a certain style of writing, you sometimes feel inclined to do that writing as well. so my kids are doing poetry right now and that has spurred some recent ramblings from me, which for some reason i feel the need to share with you. sometimes i think that writing about my sister calling me a writer is a blessing and a curse for both of us, it holds me accountable to continue writing, but then it makes me feel obligated to post my writing. and well the rest is all your misfortune. so here we go:

amiable is what we aim for
it's curiosity
of independent co dependence
that keeps the crazy
from controlling
her composure.
cute and crass she's
charming in her
confidence and compliments
-to the casual
observer.

humming to herself
-in public no less-
her happiness is
hearsay
even to her ears.
but she continues
swinging her shopping bags
as heads turn.
unaware, culpable for
and in control
of the hints she's sending
simply said:
amiable is what we aim for.



NEXT!

blessing from Mother Nature

Your first intake of sweet,

life-giving air,

will be from the gust of my

wind blown blessing to you:

May the storms of your life

be summer rains

that rejuvenate and affirm

with every downpour.

May all your nights

be promises

And your sunrises crowded in

mists

bringing clarity to your

surroundings

in simple snapshots of ordinary beauty.

May your tree

of truth and understanding

grow, unhindered

by circumstance,

to mighty depths and

height

finding light and water

in the dry shadows.

May the breezes and waves

that scatter

bring chills of delight and

anticipation

as they direct you

places of

creative insight.

May your long journey

be guided with

sweet earth and

soft grass,

trimmed with

whispering meadows

for contemplation

and comfort.

stay one with me,

wholly as you,

and your last breath will be as

sweet

as the first.

it will be a miracle!

In case it has somehow slipped your notice, i am in the market for a man. i like men, would like to have one around for me and for my daughter, i kinda want to make some babies, and i want to keep this man i like for a long time, like forever really. and knowing that i am not the ideal candidate for a wifey i decided to make my list of requirements very simple. for quite some time now i've been under the impression that if i could simply find a man that was easy to get along with, worked, and wanted to be in a committed relationship, i could make it work.
i was wrong.
in fact, i think there is a chance i could have been really wrong, but let's not take it to extremes.
yet in spite of that i don't feel like i'm asking for a lot. seriously. if we go out to coffee and you throw away my cup for me, i will notice and i will be impressed. minimal effort on the man's part, really. in a relationship, a few words of validation or even reassurance every couple of days and i'm set. i don't need a ton of physical contact as long as we're... well.. doing it on a regular basis. he unloads the dishwasher i'll be really happy. if he makes dinner or cleans an entire room and i will do back flips, pinch myself to make sure i'm not dreaming, and bend over backwards for him so i don't ruin my good luck. seriously, minimal effort, right?!
for some reason it's not that easy. at first i didn't get it, but then i got insulted by my sister and realized what i was missing.she said (and just to be clear, another sister said this to her as well so she really was being honest and heartfelt):
someday you're going to like a guy and he will like you back and it will be a miracle.
there's a slap in the face, right?
but it's true. no matter how many guys that i meet that are willing to put in the minimal effort, i still have to like them back. and they have to like me (which at times is really actually quite difficult in spite of what you are inclined to think).
and i realized that as little as i expect from a guy, at the end of the day i want to feel lucky that i'm his. and just as much i want him to feel lucky he has me. i want us both to feel like we've won the jackpot, that we both married up in the world. now the word miracle doesn't seem so strange does it?
but i see this kind of relationship all the time, my parents often talk about how lucky they are. my mom about my dad, whether he's in the room or not, and my dad who is a man of few words (unless he's on a pun kick) shows it to my mom all the time.
so yes, i have a short list of demands: be a man, have a job, want a wife, don't be a jerk. and when i really am pressed for answers i say laughs/smiles a lot, encourages me and my interests, educated, likes kids and family. but now i have no qualms about saying i want to feel lucky every day (okay, most days) that he is mine. and i want to be amazed and grateful that he feels the same way about me. we'll both be better people for it. so when it happens (i'm biting my tongue about saying if it happens because some days are just 'if' days) it really will be a miracle because i'm now under the impression that is how love is supposed to feel.

metrocity

Yay for puns and play on words. That was one of my favorite parts of Megamind, the movie i was forced to watch with my daughter this weekend that secretly i enjoyed. It made me wish that there was some clever play on words for Idaho besides the obvious relation to a gardening tool.

Because seriously lately Idaho has become a nasty boil on the face of America.

It may not have been noticed because of the similar epidemic sweeping the midwest, but in the wonderful red states the budget relating to public services is being seriously raped. Yes I am aware that we all have to do our part. I've come to grips long ago that I will never be wealthy in my profession and I actually prefer it that way. In fact most of the people who enter into my profession are givers not takers; service minded people that are trying to help children. Which is why it infuriates me that in this state of Idaho the educational system is being treated like a big business and is being forced to mold itself into a big business model as a way of reforming the budget.
There is a part of me that is pretty sure that this is a joke. That people obviously realize teachers work hard for the little money that they get and that the public, for the most part, appreciates that hard work. I hear stories on the web and protests on the streets that encourage this perhaps false belief. And honestly without a functioning tv, I'm pretty sure that it could stay this way. I have read a few newspaper editorials that would make me think otherwise, but they are the minority, right? Right?!
Then I remember that we are in a red state, a state that would honor profit over almost anything else. And I only say 'almost anything else' because I will forever be an optimist that peoples' common sense will win out at some point. And that many people listen to the propoganda, for lack of another word, of news teams and individuals who claim their religious beliefs are what everyone in this country should aspire to, but who couldn't possibly believe that when they look at their paycheck.
I can only say that greed is the backbone of this campaign against teachers, fireman, streetsweepers and other public servants. Servants. Would they consider lowering the pay of our fearless soldiers? Of risking not giving them health insurance when they risk their health everday? What about the people who fight for the future on a daily basis inside the country's borders? That's what I do. I try to help this country's future when everyone else seems to be fighting against it. These kids come to school from broken homes, broken dreams, broken ideals of what this country should be. And how do we pay them back? Well in Idaho we want to give them a laptop, sign them up on online courses, take away their teachers (which for some are the only adults that these kids will see on a regular basis, their anchor knowing that someone will always be there for them), and say "good luck kid. Just copy and paste from somewhere online if you get stuck." I will not abandon my kids this way.
And neither will the teachers I work with, or teachers across this country. Just listen to them:

http://www.facebook.com/home.php#!/notes/elizabeth-hatch/its-not-just-wisconsin-or-ohio-or-unions-its-your-childs-future-and-yours-too/10150190671298906

http://www.thedailyshow.com/watch/thu-march-3-2011/crisis-in-the-dairyland---for-richer-and-poorer---teachers-and-wall-street

http://www.idahopress.com/opinion/other_letters/article_00c78c9e-240c-11e0-8115-001cc4c002e0.html

http://www.ktvb.com/news/Students-walk-out-of-class-in-protest-of-education-reform-plan-117064878.html?clmob=y

http://www.cnn.com/2011/OPINION/02/23/berstein.labor.unions/index.html


http://www.cnn.com/2011/OPINION/02/20/ravitch.teachers.blamed/index.html

http://www.idahostatesman.com/2011/03/04/1551153/letters-to-the-editor-education.html

... and many more...

I am pleading because I don't know where else to turn. Perhaps I should have been a Government teacher so I could understand better how this whole operation works. But from what I recall we are governed by the people (who are saying this is wrong in record numbers) and for the people who need the education that is being risked here.

And thank you to Taylor Mali, and the facebook friend who showed me this link for helping me remember I am fighting the good fight.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RxsOVK4syxU

questions

i am becoming an expert on inept analogies. It's part of motherhood, i think. And there might be a bit of a teacher aspect in there as well. But cecy gwen asks a lot of questions! And i don't like the idea of not answering or a white lie for now to put off what happens later. Sometimes i'm good at making her understand... other times not so much. Here are a few of the better ones:



◘ relating blood to milk. the question was why can't we just scoop up blood that comes out and put it back in our bodies? I asked her would she drink milk that fell on the floor (luckily she said no), and that blood was the same way. It would be dirty and no good any more.



◘believing in jesus and christmas. This one was an absolute fail. I tried to say that not everyone believes in jesus, like there are people who celebrate things other than christmas. she could not accept that, and in fact took great offense to the idea that not everyone got gifts delivered by a fat man in a red suit. And she still wanders around telling people she believes in jesus (who, for the record, is in her head a baby that is a cross between a disney character and a police man). Epic fail.



◘ chemicals released by the brain and music. Yes i somehow found a way to link them. She was asking how her eyes started drying up when she was done crying. We have had conversations about cells before, and babies, and honestly my biology is really not up to par... anyway, back to the eyes drying up. I told her that her brain tells her body that she is sad so it sends out chemicals to the body to tell it how to react. I had no idea how to explain chemicals, so i said music. So when you are sad the brain sends out sad music to your body and the sad music tells your eyes to let out water and then when you aren't sad any more the music stops and your eyes can't make the water. Seriously, i got confused trying to follow that. But at least it ended the conversation while not lying to her and not dismissing the question.

And to think i have have 13 more years of this...

My Awesomely Radical, Adorably Hilarious, Endearing, Enchanting, Beautiful, Little Girl

It's a shame how little i say about my little bug because she is the light of my life and the center of my universe and all the other cheesy cliches you can think of put together. So this post is just some cute little snippets of my life with the cecy gwen:

♥ a few days ago i had a massive migrane and cecily is familiar enough with them that after i take my medicine, i hand her a timer and tell her not to come in mommy's room until it goes off. this one was such a doozy that she had to come back a few times. after one check up on mommy she got a blue sharpie and wrote "cecily ♥ mommy" on my door. i couldn't be mad because it was so sweet! but seriously! permanent marker???

♥ she likes to tell me how many kids she wants me to have. yes, i have explained to her that i have to be married to have them, but she still likes to pretend. usually she tells me two brothers and two sisters. the sisters would sit in the back with her and one of the brothers would drive while the other sat in the front seat. i ask her, "where will mommy sit?" to which she replies i can sit on top of the car with the dog. then she found out that if i get married that the daddy will stay with us all the time so he got put up there with the dog and i.

♥ classic kid cursing story: cecily was playing with two barbie dolls in the back seat of the car while we were driving somewhere. i over heard her have one doll say to the other (and excuse my french): "you stupid bitch!" i freaked out! calmly of course. i asked her where she heard that, to which she replied "sometimes i just know these words mommy" and then told her that it was very, very mean and that we shouldn't ever say that. she seemed repetant enough and continued playing. a few minutes later i heard her say the curse word again!

"cecily! we don't say that!"

"but mommy i said that she wasn't a stupid bitch." ahh. now that is perfectly okay.

(she has since then asked if santa clause and jesus know that she said those words. i told her yes but they were pretty big on forgiveness)

♥ we recently welcomed a new member of the family, the invisible dog ashleigh. it was fortunate in that he showed up right after the fairy friend we had left to go back home to her family. ashleigh perfers mice to eat, but will eat whatever cecily has for dinner, and prefers to sleep on her bed with a little pillow and stuffed animals. they both insist on bed time stories and goodnight kisses (though i usually have to ask where the dog's head is) and yes there are times when we open the front door and let the dog out to go potty. just a few nights ago i had to go back inside my parents' house to get little ashleigh who got left in the rush to the car. cecily told me ashleigh can only stay until easter when she fully expects to get a real dog. hmmm...

♥ being an only child, cecily has a few peculiar habits. when she says something funny, she immediately repeats it with the introduction of "i just said..." and laughs at it again. yes she does this when i am not in the room, almost more often when i'm not. she also prefers "disappearing friends" as she calls them. though i have asked they only come out at home and not in preschool. she also assumes that at all times she is the center of attention and the boss of all the adults in the room. sadly, it is my mom, dad, and i that have fostered this. you should see how bad we are at bending to her every whim.

♥ cecily is incredibly dramatic, which i find highly entertaining. the other day she was rather warm in the car and asked to roll down the window. as she did she exclaimed, "oh mama! i cried for you!!" yes she was referring to the wind as mama. i... don't know...

she can't walk anywhere but must prance about. she lives in a world of fairy tales and is at any one moment one princess or another. i've learned not to try and guess in case i get it wrong. i've also learned that my child never gasps unless she's playing pretend so it's best not to get worried about what might be wrong unless i want to get sucked into the fantasy world.

♥everyone should be told they are loved the mostest.

♥it amazes me that no matter what size she is, she always fits perfectly in my arms and her head seems to be made for the crook of my neck.

♥ nothing is better than being greeted at the end of a long day by a genuine and enthusiastic grin and the biggest hug a little body can muster.

♥ every saturday morning begins with some snuggles and tickles.

♥ kisses are currency at my house. and as cecily told me today, "mommy you should never say sorry for too many kisses!"