i'm doing two today because i have one that relates to the celebration that today is: moving in with my parents. again.
shame
i'm 28.
eating at my
parents' house
should not be
a nightly
ritual.
yet here i am
knee deep
in spring greens
and chicken
waiting for
their program
to start
on tv.
~happy moving day to me!
Saturday, July 31, 2010
poem post #1
as i mentioned in the previous post, i'm trying to write more. my skill has fallen, but practice makes... better, right? i've always had a problem with being to flowery, being too wordy, etc. so here are two poems telling the same story; one where i'm really wordy and one that's a little more direct.
listening
rich words fall
like variable pearls
dripping from your ruby tongue
my heart expands
from collar bone
to belly button
and the heavy warmth
sprouts wings
making a home in every
corner of me.
my cheeks stretch and warm.
the waterfall of words abruptly
stops.
your mouth open as though another pearl
might fall out,
you look at me
as though I’m the one with
gemstones cascading from my lips.
my cheeks flush,
the winged warmth does
flips in my gut.
sound escapes you.
i anticipate the flutter of opalescent gems-
but it’s simpler
plain, even
And yet more eloquent.
-gag- the romantic element of it makes me want to puke, but it's what comes out on the first go round. here's the second:
Lane change
even in passing conversations-
like now when we’re driving-
he uses more syllables
in one word
than I do in a sentence.
my pulse races and my brain reels
trying to keep up with him.
it’s a weird turn on.
he says something amusing-
i’m concentrating on my driving-
so I simply grin.
he stops-
mid multisyllabic word-
“wow, your smile is amazing”
i blush, check my mirrors to distract myself
and he continues prattling on.
i signal and switch lanes.
…i think i just fell in love.
*i prefer the second.. my old age has made me less of a romantic :)
listening
rich words fall
like variable pearls
dripping from your ruby tongue
my heart expands
from collar bone
to belly button
and the heavy warmth
sprouts wings
making a home in every
corner of me.
my cheeks stretch and warm.
the waterfall of words abruptly
stops.
your mouth open as though another pearl
might fall out,
you look at me
as though I’m the one with
gemstones cascading from my lips.
my cheeks flush,
the winged warmth does
flips in my gut.
sound escapes you.
i anticipate the flutter of opalescent gems-
but it’s simpler
plain, even
And yet more eloquent.
-gag- the romantic element of it makes me want to puke, but it's what comes out on the first go round. here's the second:
Lane change
even in passing conversations-
like now when we’re driving-
he uses more syllables
in one word
than I do in a sentence.
my pulse races and my brain reels
trying to keep up with him.
it’s a weird turn on.
he says something amusing-
i’m concentrating on my driving-
so I simply grin.
he stops-
mid multisyllabic word-
“wow, your smile is amazing”
i blush, check my mirrors to distract myself
and he continues prattling on.
i signal and switch lanes.
…i think i just fell in love.
*i prefer the second.. my old age has made me less of a romantic :)
Saturday, July 24, 2010
A Sister’s Confidence In Me (I’m posting some old ones today…)
I had the wonderful opportunity to stay with my sister and her family for a week. Granted it was a babysitting gig, but when the kids just spend the day playing, there’s not much I have to do other than break up fights and know how to staunch bleeding. Plus my mom came with me so we had better odds. And because my mom was with me that means I got to go a couple places with my sister, including to the guest speaker at the writers conference she was attending. My sister is a serious writer. She devotes time to it, scheduling a babysitter on a regular basis so she can have some writing time. She’s working on a few novels. I mean this chic is legit! I also like to write, I did it a lot growing up, mostly poetry. I found a love for short stories and personal essays in college, but also had my ego smashed by a less than supportive graduate student that taught the writing class I took. *grumble*
Back to my sister. When she took me to this conference she wanted me to meet the women in her writing group. They all write young adult fiction and one has published a few books. I was enjoying basking in my sisters shadow, following, her from place to place, and then she introduced me. “this is my sister Amanda, she’s a teacher and a writer.” Excuse me?! A writer? I wanted to deny it, but any attempts that I made were squashed by my sister’s insistence.
So. I’m a writer?
This idea stayed with me for a few weeks and I realized how happy it made me, and how much I had been longing to write again, but just didn’t see the point. I picked up a pen and started writing. Poems for now, since they were what I was most comfortable with when I wrote before, but I hope to get back to writing stories again. And because you read my blog, and I’m assuming you do since you are reading this, you will be exposed to my rebirth in writing. I will be posting the occasional piece on here from time to time just to feel justified in both writing and in keeping a blog, because let’s be honest, I don’t have much to write about. I’m a country song right now, lost my home, my job, my partner. I just have to have someone die and I’ll be right on course! Sorry. Morbid humor. But you have been warned, so consider yourself as such.
Back to my sister. When she took me to this conference she wanted me to meet the women in her writing group. They all write young adult fiction and one has published a few books. I was enjoying basking in my sisters shadow, following, her from place to place, and then she introduced me. “this is my sister Amanda, she’s a teacher and a writer.” Excuse me?! A writer? I wanted to deny it, but any attempts that I made were squashed by my sister’s insistence.
So. I’m a writer?
This idea stayed with me for a few weeks and I realized how happy it made me, and how much I had been longing to write again, but just didn’t see the point. I picked up a pen and started writing. Poems for now, since they were what I was most comfortable with when I wrote before, but I hope to get back to writing stories again. And because you read my blog, and I’m assuming you do since you are reading this, you will be exposed to my rebirth in writing. I will be posting the occasional piece on here from time to time just to feel justified in both writing and in keeping a blog, because let’s be honest, I don’t have much to write about. I’m a country song right now, lost my home, my job, my partner. I just have to have someone die and I’ll be right on course! Sorry. Morbid humor. But you have been warned, so consider yourself as such.
ONLINE DATING WARFARE
I have ventured into the world of online dating, something mentioned in a previous post. And since I have been in that world for a little while I thought I should send an update.
It should be known that I was told that you meet the one you end up within the first few weeks, which both fascinated and frightened me. Especially when I saw the people that match.com lined up for me. What the hell did I put in my profile that matched me with these men?? However it made the sorting process a bit easier for me. if they are wearing camo, or have any pictures where they are holding a dead animal or fish I can skip right over them. I realize I am in Idaho, but it frightens me a little that men would think that a picture of a bleeding carcass with vacant, staring eyes next to an eager, grinning boy who is supposed to be the I-am-the-provider-and- can-kill-things man would somehow appeal to the female population. I don’t know maybe I’m the weird one.
I am also lucky because I have a built in filter: a child. I just scroll on down to see what interests them in a woman and if they don’t want to deal with a mommy I greedily put them in my discard pile. It’s their loss honestly. My kid is the coolest!!
Now there is the age issue. I understand that I have my own filters that say I want people between this number and this number, but I feel like I should not be presented to anyone who isn’t in my age bracket even if I am in theirs. So all you creepy sixty year old men who want to find someone between 20 and 30 just stop! No one wants you! You need to be loaded for that to work and I would think that if you were rich enough to convince a young attractive woman to waste her time on you, I’m sure the golddiggers would be knocking at your door and you wouldn’t need to be on match.com. grr…
So within the first two weeks I did meet someone, a few actually. It really is an ego booster! All of a sudden you have someone every day who is saying they’d like to meet you or are interested, or if nothing else a wink (which are creepy and what the dirty old men often use). And the activity always picks up on the weekend. Suddenly all the single people in the valley are getting worried that they will spend another weekend alone and pathetic, or even worse a third wheel… again. Suddenly one in the morning on Thursday night is the perfect time to meet the one you were meant to be with (which I must say, this whole online dating thing has made me see the complete bullshit behind that idea).
At any rate I started dating someone and am still dating him… for the time being. But the crazy is calling me again! Something about the idea of seeing a page full of information that allows you to make a tentative life plan with someone you’ve never met. Today I might be satisfied with being the girlfriend of an engineer, but what if I want to watch a really intense season of football? I’m going to need to date that meathead with the “other” occupation. And what if there is a time in my life when I want to be really healthy? I could jumpstart it with that vegan kayaking enthusiast.. and that guy with the marketing job that travels all over the world, well he could be downright boring as long as he took me to Europe. And I will want to pop out another kid, that really hot guy with no income may have the perfect set of genes to have a truly adorable baby. *sigh* decisions, decisions…
It should be known that I was told that you meet the one you end up within the first few weeks, which both fascinated and frightened me. Especially when I saw the people that match.com lined up for me. What the hell did I put in my profile that matched me with these men?? However it made the sorting process a bit easier for me. if they are wearing camo, or have any pictures where they are holding a dead animal or fish I can skip right over them. I realize I am in Idaho, but it frightens me a little that men would think that a picture of a bleeding carcass with vacant, staring eyes next to an eager, grinning boy who is supposed to be the I-am-the-provider-and- can-kill-things man would somehow appeal to the female population. I don’t know maybe I’m the weird one.
I am also lucky because I have a built in filter: a child. I just scroll on down to see what interests them in a woman and if they don’t want to deal with a mommy I greedily put them in my discard pile. It’s their loss honestly. My kid is the coolest!!
Now there is the age issue. I understand that I have my own filters that say I want people between this number and this number, but I feel like I should not be presented to anyone who isn’t in my age bracket even if I am in theirs. So all you creepy sixty year old men who want to find someone between 20 and 30 just stop! No one wants you! You need to be loaded for that to work and I would think that if you were rich enough to convince a young attractive woman to waste her time on you, I’m sure the golddiggers would be knocking at your door and you wouldn’t need to be on match.com. grr…
So within the first two weeks I did meet someone, a few actually. It really is an ego booster! All of a sudden you have someone every day who is saying they’d like to meet you or are interested, or if nothing else a wink (which are creepy and what the dirty old men often use). And the activity always picks up on the weekend. Suddenly all the single people in the valley are getting worried that they will spend another weekend alone and pathetic, or even worse a third wheel… again. Suddenly one in the morning on Thursday night is the perfect time to meet the one you were meant to be with (which I must say, this whole online dating thing has made me see the complete bullshit behind that idea).
At any rate I started dating someone and am still dating him… for the time being. But the crazy is calling me again! Something about the idea of seeing a page full of information that allows you to make a tentative life plan with someone you’ve never met. Today I might be satisfied with being the girlfriend of an engineer, but what if I want to watch a really intense season of football? I’m going to need to date that meathead with the “other” occupation. And what if there is a time in my life when I want to be really healthy? I could jumpstart it with that vegan kayaking enthusiast.. and that guy with the marketing job that travels all over the world, well he could be downright boring as long as he took me to Europe. And I will want to pop out another kid, that really hot guy with no income may have the perfect set of genes to have a truly adorable baby. *sigh* decisions, decisions…
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